KEITH OLBERMANN JOINS FOX NEWS

NEW YORK -  After leaving MSNBC tonight, Keith Olbermann signed with Fox News.Keith Olbermann, who had  been suspended indefinitely without pay from MSNBC because he donated to three Democratic candidates this election cycle and then was rehired – quit MSNBC tonight.  He’s done at MSNBC,“We didn’t like Keith made political contributions, but then he apologized and we hired him back...

CHARLES MANSON WRITES A CHILDREN’S BOOK

SEATTLE , WA – Amazon has come under fire again for its decision to carry yet another controversial book.In recent news, the internet retail powerhouse was scrutinized for its decision to carry, The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover’s Code of Conduct, by Philip R. Greaves II. Now they are pushing the limits even farther with a new children’s book that has been penned by none...

3 METHODS FOR RESURRECTING THE DEAD

Follow these three easy methods to bring your loved ones back from the afterlife.For almost everyone on earth, death can be a painful and difficult experience with which to cope. Now that we live in a world with DNA sequencing, cloning and the web, one might begin to wonder how we can use these tools to get our loved ones and influential leaders back.Well, look no further; here are three methods to...

RATS FEED ON NYC SUBWAY RIDERS

NEW YORK -  There’s a massive Rat Attack in NYC.  Subway riders are being attacked on every train! Rats are multiplying faster than the available food sources in New York City.  There are just too many rats and too little garbage, restaurant leftovers and apartment foodstuffs to satisfy the needs of the millions of rats living in the five boroughs. Rats typically don’t bother humans...

Experts explain S’pore’s declining birth rate

Experts believe the high cost of living is the main deterrent to couples having children. (Photo: AFP Images).They are only getting married in June, but already the couple have decided against having any children.Speaking to The Straits Times (ST), civil servant Jean Heng, 30, said she chooses her independence and freedom above having a baby.She said, “Life in Singapore is...

WALT DISNEY’S FROZEN HEAD STOLEN

GLENDALE, CA – Seven thieves broke into the Glendale Cryogenics Labratory and stole Walt Disney’s frozen head!Police arrived at the California based cryogenics lab after receiving a phone call from the lab’s owner, Robert Sterling.Security camera footage confirms that seven thieves broke down the front door of the building with the intent to steal. However, the camera was immediately disabled when...

DUDE DATING: COLLEGE VS. REAL-WORLD DATING

The J-Train is coming through and he’s got the dating advice you need!From the long line of WWN advice columns (i.e. Dear Dotti, Ask a Chimp, etc) comes a new breed of intrepid advice giver. It’s Jared Freid aka J-Train. A frequent dater and lover…Dude Dating with J-Train: College vs. Real-World DatingQ. Train, I just graduated college at the end of December (Yea, 4 and a half years, I party,...

MOUNT ETNA ERUPTS

SICILY  – Mount Etna erupted last night, killing the leader of the biggest Mafia family in Italy.Italy’s Mount Etna has come back to life with a massive eruption that sent lava down its slopes  nto neighboring towns and sent a large plume of ash into the sky, closing airports in five countries.The volcanology institute in Catania, eastern Sicily, said Thursday that a five-hour eruption overnight...

MEGAN FOX IS A MAN!

LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag.  I’m a tranny.  I’m a man.”At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.However, today she has cleared the air and officially...

FACEBOOK WILL END ON MARCH 15th!

PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will...

MICHAEL JACKSON’S FUNERAL

LOS ANGELES, CA – Plans for Michael Jackson’s funeral have been revealed by his estate.Michael Jackson died yesterday afternoon of a heart attack.  People all over the world mourn the loss of the King of Pop.  In cities across the globe people gathered in squares and parks with candles in hand to mournfully sing his classics like “Beat It” and “Don’t Stop till You Get Enough.”  In Utah...

JUSTIN BIEBER TRANSGENDER ON CSI

HOLLYWOOD – Justin Bieber to play a transgender runaway who is at the wrong place at the wrong time.CBS announced today that Justin Bieber will be returning as a guest start on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Bieber made his acting debut on the show last fall portraying, Jason McCann, a troubled teen whose brother was killed by the CSI forensic team.However, this time The...

6,000 YEAR OLD WINE

WASHINGTON– Archeologists have unearthed the oldest wine-making facility in Armenia.  The dry red vintage is about 6,000 years old. Archeologist uncovered the oldest stash of wine in the world.  The excavation took several months and the crew celebrated the find by – drinking all the wine.Archeologists around the world were livid to learn that the wine had all been drunk.  “The American...

10 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR HOME FROM ZOMBIES

Worried about Zombies coming into your house?  Here are 10 simple ways to stay safe!With smash hit zombie shows such as AMC’s The Walking Dead and soon to be cult films like Dead Snow, many are beginning to wonder “What do I need to do to protect my family and home from zombies?” Well look no further, here are 10 simple ways to help you prepare for a zombie attack and create a zombie proof home.Build...

HOW TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL

You can have power, wealth, an attractive mate and virtually anything else you ever dreamed of – by selling your soul to Satan! But how?You must know what you’re doing when you make the deal or Satan will cheat you blind. That’s the word from Dr. Rex Touth, expert on satanic rituals and author of How to Negotiate Unholy Contracts.Dr. Touth cites cases dating all the way back to the 16th century in...

MICHAEL JACKSON FAKED HIS OWN DEATH?

NEW YORK, NY – Has The King of Pop imitated The King by faking his own death?In a 1994 issue of Weekly World News, it was predicted that superstar Michael Jackson was so heartsick with the nightmare his troubled life had become, he would fake his own death – just like Elvis!“Michael Jackson, like Elvis, is sick and tired of being larger than life and wants to get a life,” said world-renowned psychic...

MICHELLE OBAMA SHORT SHORTS

WASHINGTON, DC – After her husband’s first fashion faux pas, First Lady Michelle Obama has apparently committed her own.Bloggers and news pundits alike are discussing Michelle’s outfit after she dressed down during a recent family vacation.This was how she was photographed exiting Air Force One after returning from the Grand Canyon:Her supposed faux-pas as First Lady follows not long after President...

DROIDS HELP KIDS CHEAT

NEW YORK –  Android platform phones, or Droids, are  helping kids cheat in school.Smart phones are all the rage and Android platform phones, often referred to as Droids, are gaining traction in the Apple dominated market. Apple’s iPhone App Store has over 100,000 apps to choose from but this figure pails in comparison to the 200,000+ apps that can be downloaded from the Android Market.The...

GLENN BECK MOVING TO CHINA!

NEW CANAAN, CT – Glenn Beck announced yesterday that he will be taking his controversial talk-show to China – permanently! According to inside sources, Chinese media giant CCTV offered Glenn Beck a $3 billion dollar/year contract to move his show to China.“We believe the Chinese people will embrace Beck’s love of government and respect for authority,” said Jin Yao, VP of Social Relations at CCTV....

ALIEN SPACESHIPS TO ATTACK EARTH IN 2011

Three giant alien spaceships are heading for Earth!  Scientists predict they will arrive in early 2011.UFO encounters continue to increase – as documented on WWN.  And today scientists at SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), an independent non-commercial organization,  made a major announcement:“Three giant spaceships are heading towards Earth. The largest one of them is...

750 Pound Shark

EVERGLADES CITY, FL – A group of Florida men videotaped and caught a 750 pound mako shark!Jamie Bunn, Danny Massa, Jeremy Huston and John Monti went swordfishing on Saturday, off of the Point Everglades Inlet. About 18 miles offshore, they noticed a dead swordfish floating in the water, being circled by a mako shark.The men decided to lasso the dead fish and draw it up against the boat, so they could...

FCC OKAYS NUDITY ON TV

WASHINGTON, DC -  The FCC has declared that nudity will now be allowed on TV – including full frontal nudity!The US Second Circuit Court of Appeals has vacated the $1.21 million worth of fines that the FCC levied against ABC after alleging that the network violated broadcast indecency standards for daring to show actress Charlotte Ross’ naked behind during a 2003 episode of “NYPD Blue.” When...

Miley Cyrus to do Playboy

LOS ANGELES – Miley Cyrus, who turned 18 on November 23rd, has done photo spread for Playboy!Ever since Miley Cyrus turned 16, Hugh Hefner has been trying to sign her up to pose naked in Playboy after her 18th birthday.  Finally, with the approval of Miley Cyrus’ parents (Billy Ray and Tish), it’s a done deal – according to reports out of Arizona.The photos were taken the day after her 18th...

"What I see" - Parent volunteer tells heartbreaking tale

Breann Treffry - As much I want to spare my own children from these wrongs, it’s just as wrong for adults to sit quietly by as the next generation, with eyes wide and full of hope and excitement, receives what has become the empty promise of an American public education. We’ve heard much recently about the United States slipping in the education ranking of developed nations. Having been a product...