Preschool Adjustment

For three year olds who have been interacting mainly with family members and maybe a nanny who has been taking care of them, the biggest transition in their lives is when they start preschool.

For both parents and teachers, the first month of school for children can be the most trying time as children go through all sorts of transitions such as separation from their parents or nannies, other "small people" who do not meet their needs or pay attention to them, and a new authority who is neither their mom nor nanny.

Though it is quite difficult to put ourselves into a three year old's perspective as grownups, one must imagine the emotional and psychological trauma these young ones are going through in order to help them to adapt and transition smoothly into what will later become their home away from home.

When children enter their classroom, they are stepping into a room full of unknowns. The unfamiliar setting will intimidate them and most of all, their security blanket is no longer there, whether that is mom or nanny.

Children of this age must retain security and stability in order to develop properly. When their security blanket has been taken away, they can't help but cry out with all their might to get that security back.

What they do not understand is that their security blanket will come back in a few hours. Many of them feel abandoned and are consumed with fear that they will not see their parents ever again. We can assume this during the pick-up time when the children see their parents again because their faces are lit up and a sense of security comes back to their presence.

During those first few weeks, if there is one goal that the teachers try hard to achieve, it is to assure the children that they can obtain a new security blanket in this new environment.

How can we help these children to cope with such transition? With any upcoming transition, preparation is the most important step. Children must be prepared for what's to come rather than just being thrown into a new environment for which no one has prepared them. As they are developing in this important stage of life, it is so important to make sure their first learning environment is safe, fun and challenging. This will chart the course for the rest of their learning path.

Here are some tips that can prepare the children for the transition. Parents must start preparing the child verbally, that they are going to go to school. At this time, they have no idea what this "school" is. Children at this age understand and learn concepts through experience.

It will be helpful to visit the school that they will enter and familiarize the child with the new environment. Make an appointment with the child's teacher-to-be and invite the child to do some fun activities with the teacher while the parent is still present.

Make the preparation time exciting and fun for the child. For example, take the child along to go shopping for school supplies. While doing these pre-organized activities, constantly communicate to the child about going to school.

Another important preparation is to make opportunities for the child to interact with other children their age. Many of the children, especially if they are the first child of the family, have a difficult time adapting to other children. They do not understand the concept of sharing or socializing with others of their age.

To help them with these adjustments, some practical tips are taking them to the playground, arranging play-day or enrolling them in a children's program at church or other organizations, but nothing too involved. There is a big difference between children who had interactions only with grownups as compared to those who interacted with children of their age before they start school. Their communication, collaboration and conflict-resolution skills are emerging at this stage and it helps to prepare them with a few children around before they are exposed to a big group in class.

During the actual transition time in the beginning of the school year, teachers and parents must plan for the separation time for the child from the parents. Some parents prefer to just drop the child off and disappear right away to avoid any lingering goodbyes. Other parents prefer to stick around and "spy" on the child outside of the window to see how the child is adapting. Both ways have pros and cons.

As a teacher, one of the better ways of separation experienced is to help the child to transition from the parent to the teacher in a clear way. The parent should communicate to the child that he or she will come back after the child plays with new friends and the teacher.

The teacher should be present while the parent is communicating this to the child and take the child's hand. If the child cries, the teacher should comfort the child physically and gently.

When this routine is repeated each day, the children tend to adapt quicker. For children who experience an extreme difficulty of separation, the teachers can invite the parent into the classroom or stand right outside for the first few days and transition out slowly.

When the child knows that the parent is nearby, they will become familiar with the environment securely and once they feel safe in the environment, they will be able to let go of the security from parents while in school.

Lastly, not only the preparation but follow-up is another important step in helping the children adjust to preschool smoothly. When the child is reunited with the parents whether at pick-up time or at home, the parents should compliment the child for being in school and reinforce it as a positive action. Children love being praised and they need to hear it repeatedly.

Teachers should also follow up by creating a learning environment where the children will be excited and engaged to come back each day. Teachers should also verbally communicate to the children at the start of the day that they are welcome and at the dismissal time to reinforce their positive return the next day.

When the children are able to connect to school as a home away from home, a truly enjoyable learning environment has been created and they will develop well in all areas.